Christmas Found Me

For the first time in years, I did not move this fall, so woke up Christmas morning in my own bed, in an apartment I lived in all year.  I opened my presents the night before...not the same waiting in anticipation for Christmas morning when you're alone with just a kitty to sing Christmas carols to.  The non-resident child sent me a djembe drum which I received a few weeks ago.  My two favorite gifts from the holiday are my drum and a poster of John (Lennon) in New York from my friend Candace.  She knows about the special relationship I have with John...now he stares at me while I sleep.

I was lucky enough to be invited for 2 turkey dinners.  My brother (GASP!) invited my mother and I for a noonish dinner.  The china and crystal were hauled out for the big feast.  No sweet potatoes though, darn...and the stuffing was awful.  The mood was relaxed though, even if somewhat strained at times.  Anything is an improvement on our last little gettogether...my brother was screaming in my face.  That was the day we got together to write our father's obituary and biography for the website.

My second dinner was with friends, and wayyyyy more relaxed.  The turkey was awesome, and so was the stuffing.  I brought the sweet potatoes, so was happy with that.  Dessert was my homemade apple pie with thick cream and ice cream, followed by fudge.  Yum.  Then we hang out and groaned over our bloated bellies.

I've been vegetating today. The weather is stagnant - no real changes today...just overcast and mild.  I thought about going for a walk, but took a nap instead.  Lazy as shit today.  I think I'll veg out for the rest of the weekend.  I'm about due for a break after the busyness of the year.  Sometimes it's hard to believe the year has gone by, that I left Yellowknife more than a year ago. That my Dad is dead.  I think about him every day, but noticeably less as each week passes. Maybe I'm moving on.  Maybe I'm burying it.  I had hoped initally that Dad would make it to Christmas and we could at least spend it together after all these years.  We last had Christmas together in 1996.  And then there's the guilt of not driving straight home from Yellowknife to spend Christmas with them last year.  I can't help but wonder about the chaos that surrounded my trek down the western seaboard with the kid last Christmas was karma for not coming home for Christmas.  Who knows...

With Christmas comes reflection on the year passed but also thoughts towards the future.  Of course, I am thinking of creating chaos once again in my life.  My current job is a termed position that ends at the end of March.  My tentative plan has been to hit the road once that term is up, provided everything falls into place as hoped.  I want to hit the road for anywhere from 6 months to a year if possible.  I am selling my house in Newfoundland due to community resettlement, and any plans depend on just how much I get for the house.  Who knows where I'll be next Christmas.  With any luck, I will be with friends in a warmer climate.  Here's to hoping.

Merry Christmas everyone!